


Sheesh!

by stxrlia



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Cheating, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Mediocre writing, Oneshot, Pegging, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, but we're living for the pegging, i thought of this at 3 am, im horrible at writing smut if you couldn't tell, kelso is a cheating asshole, that '70s show - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28357695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrlia/pseuds/stxrlia
Summary: Kelso gets pegged. Yep...that's it.
Relationships: Jackie Burkhart & Michael Kelso, Jackie Burkhart/Michael Kelso, Michael Kelso/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Sheesh!

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this is dumb, I know. I was gonna call it "mommy" but for some reason I felt weird abt that
> 
> Also pegging wasn't really a term back in the 70s yet so I didn't know what to call it in this story. And this is my first time writing ACTUAL smut. 
> 
> I haven't seen that '70s show in like foreverrrr lmao but please enjoy...whatever the heck this is!

It was happening. It was actually happening. Michael Kelso was about to have sex with his best friend, Joanne McGuire. It wasn't exactly what you thought it would be though. Normal sexual intercourse between a man and a woman? Nope, not at all. Joanne had seen a movie a few months ago that involved a girl fucking her boyfriend into the bed with none other than a sex toy. It was so erotic. So powerful. Arousing... She was so captivated by it for some reason, it was just mind-boggling. Joanne desperately wanted to try it out on a guy but unfortunately, she was apart of the single loser club. Plus, none of her guy friends would agree to it.

"Hell no!" Hyde exclaimed after she had passed a note to him during class, yelling so loudly that the whole class froze and the teacher shot him a look of disappointment.

"W-wouldn't that hurt?" Forman asked later on that same day in the library as they were checking out books.

Poor Fez on the other hand was too flustered to even answer, His eyes as big as saucers. 

No matter how desperate Joanne was to try it, consent was very important to her so she didn't want to bug her friends too much or make them uncomfortable. The only guy left was Kelso who was always craving for sex, but he was dating Jackie. That would be wrong on so many levels. Kelso had heard about his best friend's odd desire from Hyde as they were hanging out in the Forman's basement, listening to one of the Black Sabbath records that he owned. Donna, Jackie, and Fez were there as well. Joanne and Eric joined them later. Donna believed that Joanne's (outlandish to some) idea was hilarious, wanting to take part in it as well. Jackie thought that it was just pure disgusting.

"Why would you even want to try that? That's gross! Women are not supposed to take control during sex." 

Joanne rolled her eyes. The sound of Jackie Burkhart's shrill voice was enough to pierce anyone's ears as she lectured them about any of their random plots. Eric would usually agree to something daring and possibly dangerous just to prove how much of a "bad boy" he was but he couldn't go through with this one. Kelso was more than willing to try it, playfully nudging Jackie and teasing her.

"C'mon, we could do it together. It adds spice!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Might I add that you could suffer from internal pain?" Fez said a bit reluctantly. 

"Why not? I mean, what could go wrong? I've always wanted to know how chicks feel as I'm doing it." Kelso nodded his head with a prideful smile.

"It would feel different for you, dumbass." Forman retorted. "And what's up with you Jo? Why do you wanna try it so badly?"

"Because it looks like fun! Why do women always have to be the submissive ones?" The girl got up from her spot on the floor. "It's something new to try. And men don't always have to be in control."

Maybe it was more about power that drove Joanne to want to plow a guy into a bed. Seeing a guy being submissive drove her mad. It wasn't something that was quite common, you know. And little did her friends know, she had already bought a strapon from a local sex shop sitting in a sleazy part of Point Place that was buried into her psychedelic tye-dye patterned bag. It had a black strap that came with a hot pink dildo which twinkled whenever you put it up close to a light. Although Joanne wasn't too fond of the color pink the strapon was still cute in its own way. 

Kelso was down with the whole thing. In fact, he was the only guy in their friend group who hadn't even given it a second thought. Unlike Hyde, who shuddered even when he tried to force himself to agree with the idea. He would much prefer to be the giver and not the receiver. Kelso tried to bring up the topic another day as he and Jackie were just about to have a bit of fun in the backseat of his van. She pulled away from him and looked him dead in the eye.

"Are you serious? That stuff isn't for men! WOMEN are supposed to ride a penis. MEN are supposed to have a penis."

"Damn, Jackie, no need to get all worked up. I was just suggesting it."

It was bothering the hell out of him. He couldn't even concentrate during sex with Jackie which was one of his favorite activities! The curiosity was eating him up inside. If Jackie wouldn't agree with him who was he going to do it with? He dwelled on that question for a whole week but then he finally got it. It was crazy. It was stupid. Hell, it was a terrible idea that would probably cost him his relationship. But would it hurt to just try? It was just harmless teenage fun in his eyes. Plus, Joanne wanted a learning experience. You should always help a friend in need.

So here he was at 1 o'clock in the damn morning, knocking on Joanne's window. She climbed out of bed, shivering as her bare feet touched the cool wood floor. It was even worse once she opened the window, letting all of the cold morning air inside. Michael stood there, holding on to the sides of the window with a dopey smile on his handsome face. Joanne softly rubbed her right eye.

"Kelso? What the hell, man?"

"Mornin'." He stepped inside of the relatively small bedroom, tripping over one of Joanne's big teddy bears that were positioned near the curtains. Joanne flapped her hands and clenched her teeth, fearing that he would wake up her parents. She helped him up and began to whisper.

"You need to keep quiet because my-."

"Jo! Are you awake?"

She hurriedly pushed her friend into the closet before her dad bursted into her room. The tall bulky man turned on the light and stared at his daughter suspiciously.

"What are you doing up? It's late."

"I-I had to u-use the bathroom."

Her father nodded, licking his slightly chapped lips. He was about to turn away until he noticed the slight draft that was in the room. "Why is your window open?" He leaned against the door frame.

"...I got a little hot."

"Well, you should've cut on the air conditioner if you were hot." He turned off the light before finally going back to his shared bedroom, leaving Joanne's door slightly ajar.

Joanne thought that it would only make sense if she actually went to the bathroom. She didn't really have to use it but if her dad didn't hear some sort of noise coming from the bathroom then he would think that she was lying. A few seconds of sitting on the toilet, flushing, and pretending to wash her hands should do the trick. Michael on the other hand stood quiet and still in the closet although his heart was about to rip through his chest once Mr. McGuire came in. After hearing what he thought to be Joanne's footsteps coming back into the room, he silently stepped out of the dark closet and into the moonlight. Joanne made sure that she closed her window softly, pulling the handles slowly. It made a soft clicking sound and she and Kelso both shared a sigh of relief.

"So what are you doing here? It's late."

"I know. But I came to ask if we could...maybe..."

"Maybe...?"

"Fool around with the...dildo. I wanted to try it."

Joanne's eyes widened, her eyebrows raising. "You...actually want to try it?"

"Yeah! I think it'll be fun."

"But Kelso. Jackie..."

"She doesn't want to try it with me."

"So you decided to come to me? I don't know, dude."

"Come on." He whined. "You've been going on about it all week, now I'm interested, let's do it."

"Okay but..you're basically cheating on Jackie and my parents could hear us. What if we get caught?"

Michael frowned as Joanne paced back and forth. There were so many flaws in this plan, it just wasn't worth it now. And Michael even went out of his way to sneak over. But suddenly, a feeling began to bubble up inside of Joanne. A feeling of thrill, lust. Kelso must have felt it too because both of them shared a mischievous look whilst simultaneously saying.

"What if we get caught?"

It all happened so fast. The friends pounced on each other, wet kissing noises filling the room. Joanne softly caressed the male's chest as his hands wrapped around her tiny waist while she nibbled on his plump lower lip. She quickly pulled away, a string of saliva between them. 

"Wait here." She whispered, scurrying over to her closet and grabbing her bag. She pulled out the strapon and eyed it as it glistened in the moon's light. Michael's mouth hung agape, staring at the pink thing. It had to be about as big as his penis which was just begging to be released by the way. Joanne adored Kelso's priceless reaction to it, smiling at his expression. She then went over to her small brown dresser that was placed beside her bed, opening it and pulling out a small white and orange bottle of lubricant. She held it in front of her friend's face.

“Sheesh.” His voice cracked.

"Well hurry up, Kelschmo. We don't have all night."

He hurriedly took off his clothes and threw them onto the floor, that dopey smile appearing back on his face.

"Now, lay down." Joanne directed as she removed her clothes next. It was Kelso's first time seeing her breasts and there they were, perky and proud. He reached out to touch them only to get his hand slapped away. Joanne put on the strapon, struggling a bit with it. She grabbed the lube and opened it, closing her eyes as the sweet smell of vanilla traveled to her nose. She climbed onto the bed where Michael laid sprawled out, his dick pulsating.

"This won't hurt too bad...will it?" He gulped.

"It shouldn't since I have lube. But...you can still back out of this if you want."

"N-no. No, I wanna do it."

Joanne nodded and began to coat the pink glistening dildo with lubricant. She smiled as she stroked the toy and angled it at Kelso's hole.

"Ready?"

Kelso put his hands behind his head and smirked. "Do me."

"God, I hope this bed doesn't creak too badly."

She slowly slipped inside of her best friend, towering over him. Michael winced. It was a mixture of pain and something else. He couldn't describe it but he knew that he liked it. Joanne began to move, earning a sound from Kelso. They both began to chuckle quietly as they glanced at each other before Joanne continued. Michael let out a choked moan that was rather loud before Joanne shushed him, slapping his cheek. She didn't want to do it too hard otherwise she could wake up her dad again.

"Hush!"

She gradually went faster over time, causing the dildo to accidentally slip out. Kelso grabbed it, desperately trying to shove it back inside. Joanne teased him.

"Oh, you just want it in so badly, huh?"

Joanne started to go faster, upon Michael's wishes, as his legs were positioned up in the air now. Her breasts began to jiggle as she thrusted in her friend. The bed wasn't too loud. Kelso was, however. But Joanne loved his whines and moans and the soft squelching noise that the dildo was making each time she slipped in and out of him. Kelso looked absolutely pitiful as Joanne wrecked him. Who knew that this could be so exciting? 

After a while of lying on his back, Joanne decided to flip him over and change positions. This time, she pounded into him from the back and Kelso really started to scream then. Skin slapping filled the room along with his moans. He began to drool as his orgasm built up, that familiar knot tightening in his stomach. 

"I'm coming! I'm coming!-"

"I told you to hush, idiot."

Kelso's eyes briefly crossed, his moans muffled by Joanne's hand. His body shuddered as the toy hit his prostate, Joanne could tell that he getting closer and closer to his orgasm. Finally, he came into her bedsheets while letting out one last moan. Joanne let go of the boy's hips and he collapsed onto the bed causing it to creak. It was all over. Mr. and Mrs. McGuire would be in the room any minute now seeing the two of them sweaty and disheveled. A strapon tied around their daughter's waist and a random stranger who was all fucked out and tired (they hadn't properly met Kelso yet as Joanne isn't allowed to bring boys home).

Kelso and Joanne shared one last kiss as he got ready to leave. The cold draft filled the room once again as he opened the window. She looked at him worriedly.

"Are you sure that you'll be okay? Will you be able to drive."

"Yeah. Y-yeah, I'll be fine." He said, still panting. 

...

Joanne saw Michael the next morning at school, limping as he tried to make it to his locker. She giggled at the boy, licking her lips as she watched him talk to Jackie. You weren't such a pretty boy last night, Kelso. She thought. It's funny how they didn't get caught at all. A few questions were asked in the morning but Joanne blamed it all on the neighbors. 

"Why is he walking like that?" Donna quirked a brow.

Oh, if only she knew. If only they knew...


End file.
